Troy Bolton is not a D1 basketball prospect

Hello pals. Happy Holidays.

I have something I need to get off my chest. After re-watching the 2008 masterpiece “High School Musical 3”— Troy Bolton of East High School is not a D1 basketball prospect, and East High School probably STINKS at basketball. This needs to be addressed.

Troy Bolton lacks the size, skill, and basketball IQ to make an impact at the D1 level. East High School as a whole is a land of little people and their 2008 State Title run is improbable, and quite frankly suspicious.

PART ONE: SIZE 

Screen Shot 2018-12-24 at 4.18.14 PM

I get it, there are short basketball players out there. I once was a manager for a team that won state with a point guard who was 5’9″. It happens. That’s not the problem. The problem comes when you look at Bolton in relation to his teammates.

Screen Shot 2018-12-24 at 4.19.24 PM

 

THIS is the problem. You see that lineup? 5’8″ Troy Bolton is playing SMALL FORWARD in a lineup who’s tallest player is 5’11” MAX. THIS IS YOUR STATE CHAMPIONSHIP WILDCATS? THIS IS THE LINEUP YOU’RE GOING WITH?

Don’t tell me that this team can defend or rebound in New Mexico Class 4A basketball. Your school has 2000+ students and THIS IS THE BEST TEAM YOU HAVE? Buddy, I’ve got news for you: This team is averaging 4 rebounds per game MAX.

I’m sorry Troy. You’re going to have to convert to point guard in order to make that transition to D1. You don’t have a chance at seeing the floor at any other position. I get that you go to the Oz School of Munchkins, and sometimes you have to play out of position to help your team, but D1 basketball is full of tall people, and 5’8″ just isn’t going to cut it.

Part II: Troy Bolton has a low basketball IQ

There is no shot clock in high school basketball. That means one can pass the ball around until there is a good shot. Does Troy Bolton know what a good shot looks like? Sure doesn’t.

Screen Shot 2018-12-24 at 4.31.31 PM

My man is out here shooting MID-RANGE JUMPERS out of a DOUBLE TEAM. Literally the most inefficient shot you can possibly take. Either pass out of it or take a dribble back and make it a three. Troy Bolton ain’t leaving the bench on my squad. There isn’t such thing as style points in basketball. Get that pretty boy crap out of here.

The one time Bolton actually should shoot, he doesn’t. Game is on the line in the state championship. Down by 1. Bolton decides to call the “rocket” play. What does that play entail? Passing up a WIDE OPEN layup to give the ball to a guy who has NEVER seen a basketball in his life! You can win the state championship with the best look you’ve ever seen, and you give it to ROCKET!??!??!?

Screen Shot 2018-12-24 at 4.32.27 PM.png
Worst defense of all-time should leave room for open layup.
Screen Shot 2018-12-24 at 4.39.59 PM
But no. Mr. Pretty Boy Stat-Padder decides to be a showboat!
Screen Shot 2018-12-24 at 4.32.39 PM.png
This guy has never seen a basketball in his life. You’re putting the fate of your team’s season in HIS HANDS? How’d he even dress?

 

If I see a prospect try this, I’m pulling his scholarship offer ON THE SPOT. This might’ve been the lowest IQ play in the history of basketball. I don’t care if it worked. The other team literally just opened the red sea so Troy Bolton could make the most routine layup, and pretty boy decides to make a DIVING PASS IN MID-AIR to a guy who has never touched a basketball before.

I can suspend my belief for a few things: Yes, the players can have a dance number on the court and I’m still watching. Gabriella can sing from the stands while the spotlight is on her, and I am into it.

However, don’t tell me that this lineup wins a state championship, and sure as heck don’t tell me that Troy Bolton is a D1 basketball prospect coveted by schools across the country! He is small, he has no basketball IQ, and East High School isn’t grabbing a single rebound all year with that lineup. No sir.

One thought on “Troy Bolton is not a D1 basketball prospect

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s